Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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