masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
