stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
