he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
