"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he shaved USA in his pubs
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
