New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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