it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
