why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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