You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
