Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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