she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
