his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
