that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
please don't ironically join a cult
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