Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
