what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
