i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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