Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
