Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
