I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
