There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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