I didn't shave. On purpose
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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