I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He has the fingertips of a God
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