I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
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He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
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He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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