Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she pinky promised me she was 18
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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