We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
