My Higher Power is John Stamos
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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