I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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