Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
