none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
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I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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