She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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