I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
