omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
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No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
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Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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