when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
