Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
