Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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