If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
