margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Is Oprah even human
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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