Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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