New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
