it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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