i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
