i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
