Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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