I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
