My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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