In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
