I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm passing your future prison.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
