Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
