turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
