I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
