lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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