Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize