this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize