Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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