i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
