Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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