Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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