He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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