i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
