I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
do herpes really smell.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
