I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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