I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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