I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
this will be a night to untag.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
